It’s a painful question, one that often lingers in the quiet moments: Why do I have no friends?  The world feels like it’s moving on around you, full of laughter and connection, while you’re left wondering what went wrong. Is it something about me? Something I did? Or something deeper that can’t quite be named?

Loneliness has a way of wrapping itself around me, feeding a cycle of self-doubt. I see people sharing their lives on social media—dinners out, group vacations, heartfelt birthday posts—and I wonder why I don’t have that. It’s easy to assume there’s a flaw in me, that somehow I’m unworthy of connection. But here’s the truth: loneliness doesn’t mean I’m broken. It just means I’m human.

Friendships are complicated. They don’t just happen overnight or effortlessly. As children, making friends often seemed simple— I’d share a toy or sit next to someone at lunch, and suddenly we were best friends. But as life gets more complex, so do relationships. People grow apart, move away, or simply change. Friendships require effort, vulnerability, and a little bit of luck, and when one of those pieces is missing, it can leave me feeling isolated.

Sometimes, the lack of friends isn’t about others pulling away—it’s about the walls I unconsciously build. Fear of rejection, past betrayals, or insecurities can make it hard to let others in. I might convince myself that I’m better off alone because the thought of someone leaving or hurting me again feels unbearable. But those walls, meant to protect, often become barriers that keep connection at bay.

And then there’s the guilt. That quiet voice that whispers I’m not trying hard enough, not fun enough, not lovable enough. It tells me that I’m the problem. But that voice lies. I am enough, just as I am. Friendship isn’t about perfection or constantly being the life of the party. True connection comes from being seen and accepted for who I really am.

If loneliness has taken hold, know that it’s not a life sentence. Building connections starts with small, brave steps. Smile at a stranger, join a group or class that interests you, or reach out to an old acquaintance. It’s scary to put yourself out there, to risk rejection or awkwardness, but it’s also the only way to open the door to new possibilities.

Most importantly, be kind to myself in this process. I’m not alone in feeling this way—so many people long for deeper friendships but don’t know where to start. The path to connection is rarely straightforward, but it’s worth it. I am worth it.

Remember that friendships don’t define your worth. Whether you have one close companion or none at all, I am still deserving of love and happiness. The journey to finding my people takes time and courage, but every step forward matters. Keep going, and know that even in moments of loneliness, I am never truly alone.

-With love, H.

And you tell me about your experience down below ?