There are days when it feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on me, and no matter what I do, I can’t escape this heaviness. I keep asking myself, ‘Why am I suffering?‘ The question echoes in my mind, sometimes softly, sometimes like a roar that drowns out everything else.

It’s hard to pin down a single reason. Life can be chaotic, uncertain, and so achingly unfair. But it’s more than that. There are moments when it seems like pain has taken root deep within me, a constant presence that colors even the brightest of days with a shade of gray. It’s exhausting, and there’s a part of me that just wants to understand—Why? Why me?

Maybe it’s because suffering is part of being human, a price we pay for feeling deeply and caring about the world around us. Some days, it feels like I carry the weight of every disappointment, every missed opportunity, every mistake. And the burden is heavy, often unbearable. I think back on things I could have done differently, the times I failed others or, worse, failed myself. The regrets compound until they fill my heart with a bitterness I can’t seem to shake.

Sometimes, suffering feels like a punishment, like the universe is holding a grudge, and I’m paying for some unseen crime. I wonder if I’m not enough—if I’m lacking in ways I can’t even see. I ask myself if maybe I’m just destined to struggle, that happiness was never meant to be mine. It’s a dark place to be in, and yet, it’s so familiar. It feels like a cycle I can’t escape.

Yet, in this pain, I realize that I am not alone. There are countless people out there carrying their own invisible burdens, each one wondering if they’ll ever break free. Suffering can be isolating, but it’s also a strange thread that connects us all. We’re each fighting our battles, feeling the same hurt in different ways. And while it doesn’t lessen my pain, it reminds me that maybe I’m not as alone as I feel.

So, why am I suffering? Maybe it’s not because I’m broken or unworthy. Maybe suffering is part of my journey, a twisted path that, in time, might lead to growth and understanding. They say pain teaches us things that happiness never could. That sounds like a cruel trade, but perhaps there’s truth in it. Maybe, just maybe, this suffering is guiding me toward something meaningful, helping me learn what truly matters.

There’s no easy answer, no perfect way to make the hurt disappear. But perhaps I can start by embracing the small moments of relief—the moments when a friend checks in, when the sun breaks through the clouds, or when laughter slips through despite it all. Maybe healing doesn’t happen all at once. Perhaps it’s a process of finding little glimpses of light within the darkness.

For now, I’ll keep searching. I’ll keep asking, keep questioning, but I’ll also try to be gentle with myself. This suffering is not all that I am, and it doesn’t define my worth. I don’t have all the answers, but I have hope that, with time, I’ll find meaning in this journey, even in the pain.

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll come out the other side stronger.

-With love, H.

And you tell me about your experience down below?