“Why am I always tired?” It’s a question that lingers in the background of my life, a constant undercurrent that I can’t seem to escape. The fatigue feels like a heavy weight on my shoulders, dragging me down, making each day a little harder to get through. I wake up exhausted, even after a full night’s sleep, and the energy I once had seems like a distant memory. It’s as if I’m running on empty, constantly drained, and I don’t know why.

The tiredness is more than just physical—it’s emotional, mental, and even spiritual. It’s the kind of fatigue that seeps into every part of my being, making everything feel like an uphill battle. I’ve tried to pinpoint the cause, to find a solution that will bring back the vitality I once had, but it’s elusive, slipping through my fingers every time I think I’ve figured it out.

Part of the reason I’m always tired might be because I’m carrying too much. The responsibilities, the worries, the endless to-do lists—they all pile up until they’re too heavy to bear. I’ve become so accustomed to juggling everything that I hardly notice the toll it’s taking on me. But deep down, I know that it’s wearing me out. The constant pressure to keep going, to be everything to everyone, to never drop the ball, is exhausting. And yet, I keep pushing myself, afraid of what might happen if I let go, even for a moment.

There’s also the emotional exhaustion that comes from feeling like I’m never enough. I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, to live up to expectations—both my own and those of others. I’m constantly striving, constantly pushing, but no matter how hard I try, it never feels like it’s enough. This relentless pursuit of perfection drains me, leaving me feeling depleted and defeated. It’s a cycle that’s hard to break, because I’ve tied my self-worth to my achievements, to how well I can keep everything together. But it’s a losing battle, and it’s leaving me utterly exhausted.

The mental fatigue is another piece of the puzzle. My mind is always racing, always thinking about what needs to be done, what I should have done differently, what might go wrong next. It’s a never-ending loop of thoughts that keeps me on edge, never allowing me to truly relax. Even when I’m physically still, my mind is working overtime, and it’s exhausting. I crave peace, quiet, and a break from the constant mental chatter, but it feels out of reach.

Then there’s the spiritual tiredness, the feeling of being disconnected from something deeper, something meaningful. It’s as if I’m going through the motions of life, but without any real sense of purpose or fulfillment. The days blur together, one after the other, without any real joy or meaning. This emptiness adds to the fatigue, making everything feel even heavier. I long for something to fill the void, to bring back the spark that’s been missing, but I don’t know where to find it.

I’ve come to realize that my tiredness is a sign that something needs to change. It’s my body, mind, and soul telling me that I can’t keep going at this pace, that I need to slow down, take a step back, and reevaluate. But that’s easier said than done. The world doesn’t stop just because I’m tired, and the demands of life don’t go away. Still, I know that if I don’t listen to what my fatigue is telling me, it will only get worse.

I need to start taking care of myself in a way that I haven’t been. That means setting boundaries, saying no when I need to, and allowing myself to rest without guilt. It means recognizing that I am enough, just as I am, without constantly having to prove myself. It means finding moments of peace in the chaos, allowing myself to breathe, to be still, to reconnect with what truly matters.

I also need to address the emotional and mental burdens that I’m carrying. That might mean talking to someone, asking for help, or letting go of the need to be perfect. It means being kinder to myself, giving myself permission to make mistakes, to be human, and to not have it all together all the time. It’s about finding balance, prioritizing my well-being, and realizing that rest is not a luxury, but a necessity.

Spiritually, I need to seek out what gives my life meaning, whether it’s through connection, creativity, or something else entirely. I need to nourish my soul, to find the things that bring me joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. It’s about filling the void with things that truly matter, rather than trying to keep up with the endless demands of life.

“Why am I always tired?” Because I’ve been carrying too much for too long. Because I’ve been pushing myself to the brink without giving myself the care and rest I need. But I’m learning that it’s okay to be tired, that it’s okay to take a step back, and that it’s okay to put myself first. I’m learning that my tiredness is not a weakness, but a signal that I need to change the way I’m living. And in that realization, I’m finding the strength to start taking better care of myself, one small step at a time.

-With love, H.