« Why am I not perfect? » It’s a question that sits heavily in my heart, gnawing at my sense of self-worth. In a world that constantly bombards us with images of perfection—flawless bodies, successful careers, ideal relationships—it’s hard not to feel like I’m falling short. Everywhere I look, it seems like others are achieving greatness, while I’m left grappling with my own shortcomings. The pressure to be perfect, to meet these impossibly high standards, is overwhelming. And yet, despite my best efforts, I remain painfully aware of my imperfections.

But why do I feel this intense need to be perfect? Why does it bother me so much that I’m not? The answer lies in the deep-seated fear of not being enough—not good enough, not smart enough, not attractive enough, not successful enough. Perfection, in my mind, becomes the antidote to this fear. If I could just be perfect, maybe then I’d finally feel worthy. Maybe then, I’d stop worrying about whether I’m truly loved or accepted. Maybe then, I’d finally silence the inner critic that constantly tells me I’m not enough.

Yet, the truth is, perfection is an illusion. It’s a mirage that I can chase forever but never reach. Perfection, by its very nature, is unattainable, because it’s rooted in unrealistic ideals that no one—no matter how successful or seemingly flawless—can ever fully embody. And the pursuit of it? It’s exhausting. It drains me of joy, peace, and self-acceptance, leaving behind a trail of self-doubt and insecurity.

I’m not perfect, and that’s okay. It’s okay because perfection isn’t the goal—growth is. Life isn’t about achieving some final, flawless version of myself; it’s about learning, evolving, and becoming more of who I truly am. It’s about embracing the messy, imperfect process of being human, with all its highs and lows, mistakes and triumphs. Perfection might promise a life free from pain and failure, but it’s in those very experiences that I find my strength, resilience, and true character.

One reason I struggle with not being perfect is that I’ve internalized the belief that perfection equals worthiness. From a young age, I might have been praised for getting things right, for being the best, for standing out in a positive way. These moments taught me that my value is tied to my achievements, that in order to be loved or accepted, I need to excel. Over time, this belief morphed into a relentless drive for perfection, with the underlying fear that if I’m not perfect, I’m somehow less deserving of love and respect.

But what if I redefined my worth? What if my value wasn’t based on how perfect I am, but on who I am at my core—flaws and all? What if being imperfect is not a weakness but a strength? It’s in my imperfections that I find my humanity, my relatability, my compassion. It’s through my struggles and failures that I learn empathy for others, that I connect on a deeper level with those around me. Perfection creates distance; it sets me apart as someone who’s unreachable, untouchable. But imperfection? It brings me closer to others, reminding me that we’re all in this together, figuring things out as we go.

Another reason I yearn for perfection is that it feels like a shield—a way to protect myself from criticism, judgment, and rejection. If I’m perfect, then no one can criticize me. If I’m perfect, then I won’t have to face the pain of being judged or rejected. But this shield is a double-edged sword. While it might protect me from some external harm, it also isolates me, keeping me from fully engaging with life. It stops me from taking risks, from trying new things, from being vulnerable. In the end, the shield of perfection keeps me safe, but it also keeps me small.

What if I allowed myself to be imperfect? What if I took the risk of showing up as I am, without the need to be flawless? Yes, it would mean facing the possibility of criticism and rejection, but it would also mean opening myself up to genuine connection and growth. When I let go of the need to be perfect, I give myself permission to be real, to be seen for who I truly am. And in that authenticity, I find a deeper sense of belonging and acceptance—one that doesn’t depend on external validation but comes from within.

I’m not perfect because I’m human. And being human means making mistakes, learning, growing, and sometimes failing. It means having strengths and weaknesses, moments of brilliance and moments of doubt. It means being a work in progress, not a finished product. And that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay—it’s beautiful. Because it’s in my imperfections that I find my true self, the self that is worthy of love, respect, and compassion, just as I am.

So, why am I not perfect? Because perfection is not the point of life. The point is to be fully, authentically, and unapologetically myself. It’s to embrace my imperfections as part of what makes me unique, as part of what makes me, me. It’s to let go of the unrealistic expectations that weigh me down and to find freedom in accepting myself, flaws and all.

To anyone else asking, « Why am I not perfect? » I want you to know that you don’t need to be. You are enough just as you are, with all your quirks, mistakes, and imperfections. Embrace them, learn from them, and let them guide you towards a life that is rich with authenticity, connection, and growth. Perfection is not the goal—being true to yourself is.

« Why am I not perfect? » Because I’m beautifully, wonderfully human. And that’s more than enough.

-With love, H.