“Why does this keep happening to me?” It’s a question that echoes in my mind whenever life throws yet another curveball my way. It’s the feeling of déjà vu when faced with familiar struggles, the frustration of repeating patterns of pain and disappointment. It’s the sense of being trapped in a cycle that you can’t seem to break free from. It’s exhausting, disheartening, and at times, it feels deeply unfair.

I’ve often found myself on the edge of despair, wondering what I did to deserve this relentless barrage of challenges. It feels like the universe has singled me out, forcing me to endure trial after trial while others seem to sail through life unscathed. I’ve spent countless nights lying awake, replaying events in my mind, searching for answers, and trying to make sense of it all.

The reality is, life is inherently unpredictable. It doesn’t adhere to a script or a set of rules that we can easily understand. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people for no discernible reason. But when negative experiences seem to recur, it’s natural to wonder if there’s something more at play—if there’s a lesson we’re missing or a change we need to make.

For a long time, I believed that if I could just figure out what I was doing wrong, I could fix it and end the cycle. I thought that maybe if I tried harder, if I was a better person, if I made different choices, things would finally start to go right. But this way of thinking only led to more self-blame and frustration. It made me feel like I was the problem, that there was something inherently flawed about me.

It took a while, but I started to realize that this mindset was not only unhelpful, it was also untrue. Yes, there are times when our choices contribute to our circumstances, and recognizing that can be a powerful step towards change. But it’s also important to acknowledge that we are not in control of everything. Some things happen that are beyond our control, and beating ourselves up over them only adds to our suffering.

So, why does this keep happening to me? Maybe it’s not about me at all. Maybe it’s about life’s unpredictability, about the randomness of existence. But maybe, just maybe, there’s also an opportunity for growth and transformation in these repeated struggles. Perhaps these challenges are pushing me towards a deeper understanding of myself, towards a greater resilience, towards a more profound empathy for others who suffer.

I’ve started to approach these recurring challenges with a different mindset. Instead of asking, “Why does this keep happening to me?” I’m trying to ask, “What can I learn from this?” It’s a subtle shift, but it makes a world of difference. It turns my focus from blame and frustration to growth and possibility.

I’ve learned that some patterns repeat because there are lessons we need to learn that we haven’t fully grasped yet. Maybe it’s about setting boundaries, maybe it’s about self-love, maybe it’s about letting go of control. Each challenge, no matter how painful, carries within it the seeds of wisdom and growth. It’s not easy, and there are days when I still feel overwhelmed and defeated. But I’m learning to trust the process, to believe that there is a reason for everything, even if I can’t see it right now.

To anyone else who feels trapped in a cycle of recurring struggles, know that you are not alone. Your feelings are valid, and your pain is real. It’s okay to feel frustrated, to feel like you’re at your wit’s end. But also know that you have the strength to navigate these challenges, to find meaning in the chaos, and to grow through the pain.

Take a step back and reflect on your experiences. What patterns do you notice? What lessons might be hidden within your struggles? And most importantly, be kind to yourself. Recognize that you are doing your best in a difficult situation, and that is more than enough.

Life is a journey of ups and downs, of repeated challenges and unexpected joys. It’s messy and unpredictable, but it’s also full of opportunities for growth and transformation. Embrace the journey, trust in your resilience, and know that you are capable of breaking free from the cycle. One step at a time, one lesson at a time, you will find your way through.

Yours truly,

H.F